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Building Bridges of Empathy: How We Heal Through Connection: It's not safe here....

https://youtu.be/T7iE_suWBw4 (short podcast 1/2)

https://youtu.be/oBPEax1emqw (full length podcast 2/2)



(Full length podcast 2/2)



"Building Bridges of Empathy: How We Heal Through Connection: 'It's not safe here,'" explores how individuals navigate spaces where their differences lead to feelings of exclusion or unsafety. The author introduces three "caves"—fear, privilege, and delusion—as metaphors for how people react to or avoid confronting inequality. The narrative emphasizes that connection and empathy, often through small, intentional acts, are crucial for disrupting these isolating "caves" and fostering truly inclusive environments. The text uses personal anecdotes and broader societal examples, including challenges in schools and workplaces, to illustrate the power of recognizing bias and actively working to create belonging for everyone. Ultimately, it advocates for a framework to promote equity and inclusion by encouraging people to step into unfamiliar spaces with understanding.



Feeling excluded arises when individuals navigate spaces where their differences, whether visible or invisible, lead to feelings of unsafety, being unseen, or not being included. These challenges are often compounded by the environments people find themselves in, along with the discrimination or hostility they encounter.


The experience of feeling excluded can manifest in various ways and leads many to express the sentiment, "It's not safe here". This feeling is not limited to specific demographics; it can happen to anyone excluded daily for being different.


The sources describe three metaphorical "caves" that represent reactions to or avoidance of confronting inequality, often stemming from or contributing to feelings of exclusion:

  • Caves of Fear: These are spaces where individuals retreat due to trauma, anxiety, or repeated exclusion. For example, autistic children and those with anxiety-based school refusal may retreat into these "caves" as a protective response when school environments overwhelm them or fail to accommodate their needs. When people don't feel safe, understood, or welcome, they retreat. Avoidance becomes survival in these instances.

  • Caves of Privilege: People stuck in these "caves" only interact with those who look, think, and live like them. When others feel entitled, comfortable, and unchallenged, they stay where they are. Privilege, in this context, becomes a bubble.

  • Caves of Delusion: Individuals in these "caves" deny the realities of inequality and inequity, dismiss the lived experiences of others, or convince themselves that a problem doesn't exist because they are unaffected. Delusion can serve as a defense mechanism or psychological self-protection, but if left unchallenged, it reinforces systemic injustice and deepens divides. It can lead people to ignore real-time events and believe false narratives that protect their comfort or power. Some organizations and schools, for instance, may protect their reputations through denial and distortion when concerns about racism are raised, creating unsafe environments for children. Delusion becomes a blinder.


The author shared a personal anecdote of feeling excluded at an event due to mobility challenges, observing others mingling freely while she was seated. Despite being visibly present, she felt excluded from casual, organic connections, illustrating "the reality of inhabiting difference" where many might enter one's space but few linger. This experience resonated with her work with young people, particularly autistic children, who retreat into "caves" due to systems that fail to understand or accommodate their needs.

Intersectionality, the overlap of various identity aspects like race, disability, gender, and neurodivergence, can compound exclusion in these spaces. Whether differences are visible or invisible, they profoundly shape how individuals are received, included, or overlooked. As a result, many learn to assess and navigate environments, while some, when unsupported, stop entering these spaces altogether.


Across society, from schools to workplaces, many adults and children quietly retreat from spaces that don't welcome them, internalizing their difference and carrying the weight of isolation silently. The feeling of "it's not safe here" is echoed by school children experiencing racialized bullying, employees enduring toxic workplaces, and individuals trapped in war-torn regions.


Ultimately, all three "caves"—fear, privilege, and delusion—lead to disconnection, and they all must be disrupted to build bridges of empathy. Healing from isolation and exclusion begins with simple acts of connection, such as someone joining another in their space, lingering a little longer, asking thoughtful questions, and listening to understand. The Six Stages Framework is presented as a tool for change to help people move from "silos of separation to shared spaces of belonging" by recognizing bias, reflecting deeply, disrupting exclusion, and reimagining inclusive futures.


Dr Shungu H. M’gadzah: Inclusion Psychologists Ltd. Copyright: © 2025




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