Building Bridges of Empathy: How We Heal Through Connection
- Dr Shungu Hilda M’gadzah
- Aug 6
- 6 min read
By Dr Shungu H. M’gadzah
I’ve been reflecting on a Six Stages Framework post on Building Bridges of Empathy. I wrote some time ago—one that continues to resonate deeply with me. It explored how we each move through the world, navigating spaces where our differences—whether visible or invisible—can affect how we’re included, excluded, or unseen. These challenges are often compounded by the environments we find ourselves in and the discrimination or hostility we encounter—experiences that lead many to say, “It’s not safe here.”
Some people retreat into what I call caves of fear—spaces where trauma, anxiety, or repeated exclusion cause them to withdraw. Others remain stuck in caves of privilege, only interacting with those who look, think, and live like them.
There are also those who exist in caves of delusion—who deny the realities of inequality, dismiss the lived experiences of others, or convince themselves that because they are unaffected, the problem must not exist. Delusion can be a defence mechanism, a form of psychological self-protection—but left unchallenged, it reinforces systemic injustice and deepens the divide between groups.
In my book Understanding and Dealing with Everyday Racism: The Six Stages Framework (M’gadzah, 2022), I wrote about the increasing number of people being controlled by false information, posing the question: “Fact, fiction, reality, illusion or delusion?” At the time, some thought the language was too harsh—but now many are speaking openly of the dangerous delusions under which some operate: ignoring what is happening around them in real time and choosing instead to believe false narratives that protect their comfort or power.
I also wrote: “We know some organisations go to extreme lengths to hide the realities of racism within their walls, distorting evidence and discrediting those who bring such claims.” Increasingly, I am seeing these extremes evident in some schools—quick to protect their reputations through denial and distortion when parents raise concerns about racism. These are often unsafe environments for children, led by adults unwilling to acknowledge the beliefs and behaviours unfolding around them.
All three caves—fear, privilege, and delusion—lead to disconnection. And all must be disrupted if we are to build bridges of empathy.
Navigating Difference in Everyday Spaces
A few months ago, I attended the launch of the Church of England’s Difference training materials. It was a well-attended evening, filled with vibrant conversations and small groups mingling freely.
But I couldn’t move freely. Due to mobility challenges, I was seated while most stood in groups. I wasn’t different because I’m Black—there were many Black professionals present. Nor because I’m a woman—there were many women there too.
I felt different because I couldn’t physically move through the space like others. And so, I sat—visibly present, yet excluded from the casual, organic connections happening around me.
Some people stopped to say hello. But most passed through my space quickly. That’s the reality of inhabiting difference. Many enter your space, but very few linger.
From Difference to Disconnection
As I sat there, I thought of the young people I work with—particularly autistic children and those with anxiety-based school refusal. The school environment overwhelms them, and some can no longer face it.
They too retreat into caves—not always by choice, but as a protective response to systems that fail to understand or accommodate their needs.
As an educational psychologist and equity consultant, I see how intersectionality—the overlap of race, disability, gender, neurodivergence—can compound exclusion in these spaces. Whether visible or invisible, our differences shape how we are received, included, or overlooked.
We learn to assess environments. Some of us learn to navigate them. And some, when unsupported, stop entering them altogether.
Caves of Fear. Caves of Privilege. Caves of Delusion.
When people don’t feel safe, understood, or welcome, they retreat. When others feel entitled, comfortable, and unchallenged, they stay where they are. And some remain in denial, refusing to see what’s right in front of them.
Avoidance becomes survival. Privilege becomes a bubble. Delusion becomes a blinder. And somewhere in between, connection is lost.
The Power of Small Acts
Back at the event, something shifted. A woman running one of the stalls noticed I had been sitting alone. She approached me, and we began talking. I invited her to sit beside me.
We talked about inclusion, leadership, and the spaces we each navigate. I shared my work on the Six Stages Framework and the upcoming Inclusive Futures Conference.
She asked what my name meant. I told her: “Determination and ambition—with a little bit of frustration.” I laughed and added, “My middle name is Hilda—it means battle maiden.” She grinned. “So, you’re a determined, ambitious, passionate battle maiden! If you had a shield in one hand, ready to do battle, what would be in the other hand?”
I smiled. “That’s easy. In my other hand would be the Difference materials—and the Six Stages Framework. Tools for change. Weapons for inclusion. Instruments to help people navigate differences, foster empathy, and build peace.”
In that moment, we shared something deeply human—a common purpose.
Reflections from the Margins
Across society, from schools to workplaces, many are quietly retreating from spaces that don’t welcome them.
I think of a line from Coronation Street, when Roy Cropper—a character often portrayed as neurodivergent—reflected on leaving school early:
“I found social interaction something of a trial… so I chose to spare myself that particular trauma. Something I’ve always profoundly regretted.”
This is the story of many children—and adults—who feel excluded, misunderstood, or unsafe. Without support, they internalise that difference, carrying the weight of isolation silently.
They need empathy. They need allies. They need people willing to sit in their space and listen.
Recently, I watched a news report about a horrific incident in Tallaght, Ireland. On July 19, an Indian man was brutally attacked by a group of young men, left bloodied and stripped in the street. The woman who came to his aid, Jennifer Murray, shared a video describing the scene. Her words still echo in my ears: “It’s not safe here.” Read more →
Those same words—“It’s not safe here”—are spoken, silently or aloud, by so many:
• By school children experiencing racialised bullying
• By employees enduring toxic work environments
• By people trapped in war-torn regions through no choice of their own
• By anyone excluded daily for being different
Safety is more than the absence of harm. It is the presence of empathy, dignity, and belonging.
From Isolation to Empathy
Healing begins with one simple act: connection.
That evening, someone crossed the divide between standing and sitting, between comfort and discomfort, between assumption and curiosity. She joined me in my space—and in doing so, built a bridge.
We don’t always need grand gestures. Sometimes we just need someone to sit beside us, to linger a little longer, to ask the right question, to listen.
🔎 Reflection Questions for You
As you move through your day, I invite you to reflect:
• What spaces are you avoiding—and why?
• What spaces feel unsafe or unfamiliar to you?
• Where are you stuck in a cave of fear—or a cave of privilege—or a cave of delusion?
• Who do you see sitting alone?
• What might it take to step into someone else’s space with empathy?
• If you had a tool for change in one hand, what would it be?
✨ Be brave. Step into new spaces. That’s where empathy begins.
🛠️ My Tool for Change
For me, it’s the Six Stages Framework—a tool I developed to support individuals, teams, and systems to:
• Recognise bias
• Reflect deeply
• Disrupt exclusion
• Reimagine inclusive futures
It’s how I help people move from silos of separation to shared spaces of belonging.
Let’s build those bridges. Together.
📚 References
• M’gadzah, S. H. (2022). Understanding and Dealing with Everyday Racism: The Six Stages Framework. Inclusion Psychologists Ltd.
• The Irish Times. (2025, July 26). “He kept saying, what wrong have I done? Why me?”: An Indian man is left stripped and bloodied on an Irish street. Link
• ITV. Coronation Street (Roy Cropper's school reflection scene).
🔗 Want to Learn More?
📚 Six Stages Framework Book
🎙️ Building Bridges of Empathy Podcast
🎓 Join the Six Stages Framework and Bridges of Empathy Eventbrite Workshop Series
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